Jade

I won! It sure gave me the creeps when Mrs. Lorena asked me to be a substitute for Mia. I hate debates. I never liked having to defend anything. I mean, it is the very thing that I do every freaking day, so why still have it as my extra curricular? And another reason why I don't like it, Eli will be my opponent. I know how bad she wants to win this. And I know how much she hates me.

Eli and I are the most popular couple when it comes to rivalry. She always wanted to be on top for some reason, and I, just wanted to do my best in everything. Being first was never important to me. As long as I enjoy everything that I do, I make most of it. I still remember the day when I tried to make Eli my friend...

"Hi, I'm Jade. Can we play?"

Eli looked at me with those sad eyes and smiled.

"Sorry. I can't."

I was quite puzzled so I still bugged her, "Why not?". Then she took my hand and smiled at me. The only smile that she will ever give me.

"When you give up being first, then we can be friends."

Sigh... ever since then, Eli and I only talk business. Of course, everyday I try to irritate her to death by teasing her or playing pranks... but she always seem too distant. And her eyes... always so sad and worried. How I wish I could...

"Jade, stop the statue act! Dinner's ready!"

I put the trophy on the shelf and went to the dinning area. I sat down, trying to focus on food. I noticed that mom was looking at me, like I'm crazy o something.

"Honey, stop moping! You won! Isn't that great?"

"Mom don't mind him. He's not moping, he's just mesmerized by Eli's looks, earlier.", my sister Angie said, while giggling like an idiot. How I wish I could be an only child.

"Oh honey, Eli does look beautiful doesn't she? That girl has such a pretty face. Such a shame she always seem so sad."

I changed the topic by asking dad how his business was doing. It worked, for he gave me a stare that could kill a normal person. Everyone became silent and concentrated on eating.

My dad never liked me. It was always Angie whom he sees as perfect and worth it. But me? Oh no... I believe his term for me was, disappointment and waste. No matter how I try to impress him with my skills and my achievements, he never seem to think that it's enough.

"So you think you can talk business with me just because you won some stupid contest?"
My father asked, as he slice his share of meat. I wonder if he's thinking that I was the one he's slicing.

"No dad, I just wondered how it was doing. I heard from the news that we won again for most promising product."

He smiled and said, "Yes, yes I did won once again. And thanks to Angie's suggestions, we might have a chance to grab export deals this year. Now that's what I call achievement. Unlike some pointless events-".

"Greg that's enough."

I was surprised that mom suddenly put a halt to another one of dad's insults. She usually let this go on and on. Sigh, thank God, tonight, my head will be saved.
I excused myself for I no longer have the appetite, and I don't want to hear another comment on how useless I am.

you're worth it. you're a good person. you're good looking. he's not. you know different languages. he doesn't. you know a different world from this. he knows nothing but his world.

I recited my personal mantra as I get myself ready for bed. Here in my room, is where I find solace, peace of mind and happiness. Yes, only here in my room and in school, I am happy.
Here in my room, I see proofs of what kind of person I am, which happens to be way beyond what my father describes. In school, I can be who I want to be. No one judges me. No tells me what my limits are.

To tell the truth, I work so hard in school because I love the feeling of being number one. The feeling of being invincible. No one can touch me. And most of all, I love the challenge.

As I lay in bed, I grabbed a picture hidden under my bed. Picture of the only person whom I want to see before I fall asleep and right after I open my eyes in the morning. This person makes me strive hard until I can no longer move. This person makes me want to become better at everything. This person is the reason I still get up in the morning, so that I can see her face. This person is the only one who can make me forget all of my father's words and make me feel special.

How I wish she could see me in way like how I see her. How I wish she could even notice I exist. But these things... One must never know. I wouldn't want her to stay away from me. I wouldn't want her to become more distant.

I closed my eyes and smiled...

It's okay, tonight is trash indeed. Tomorrow, you'll see her. And she'll be there to take those pain away.